ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
