so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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