OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
