I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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