Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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