He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How naked do you want me to be?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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