yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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