Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
