so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
