my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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