I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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