Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
