My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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