please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize