i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize