I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize