I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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