Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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