So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
