I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
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hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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