I wannas sexs uuuuu
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
