I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
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How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
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Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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