Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
