We named our party play list daddy issues
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
a search helicopter?!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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