there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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