Whod you bang
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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