new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
