Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
