Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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