D3 body, D1 cock
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
we're so committed to being not committed
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
