I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
