apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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