I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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