the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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