White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
