That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
