I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
