The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
