Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
