two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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