Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Help. Why am I so naked?
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