I think I am morally bankrupt
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
