They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My breasts were aching with rage.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
