haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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