Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He did a backflip because drugs
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
