So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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