Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
