yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
we're making bets on your personal life
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
