Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
