That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
