Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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