It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
pop tarts are not kleenex
Come see our sink grown plant.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
