mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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