something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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