She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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