The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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