Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
