don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
