Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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