it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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