He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
